Has changed the guy - what to do? How to admit treason

In the life of everyone there were moments when one wrong decision had terrible consequences. What if the situation is irreversible? Is forgiveness possible after treason?

Understand the cause of treason

No matter how much I would like to blame myself for treason or vice versa, no matter how it seemed that everyone except everyone is to blame, the first thing to do is to understand the reasons for this act.

Psychologists identify 7 reasons why girls can change:

• Alcohol. Drunken betrayal - one of the most harmless, but at the same time, stupid changes. Girls, losing their heads from drinking alcohol, simply do not control their body and mind. In this case, the fault lies also with the person who took advantage of the position of the girl.
• Betrayal is revenge. With this type of betrayal, the girl does not ask a question like "Has changed the guy, what to do?". It was her plan, after all.
• Flirting. Contrary to popular belief that only men are naturally polygamous and dependent on flirting, women also may lose control of attention.
• Treason. Many girls live at work, not seeing the days and nights of their loved ones. It is the unspent tenderness and love that breaks out into a free and very nice colleague.
• Dissatisfaction. When personal life collapses, something is going on quite differently, as was the case at first, the girl finds solace in the hands of others.
• Boredom. This reason is very similar to dissatisfaction. Missing the past emotions, the girl tries to arrange them on her side.
• Love. Unfortunately, you never know if it's exactly this time.

Having determined the reason why the girl changed the guy, you can safely say how to proceed.

After learning the reason why the girl changed the guy,her next step should be recognition. Often, girls try to hide this fact. It always results in paranoia, nervous breakdowns, depression and other unpleasant things, from which the relationship with the half spoil at a rapid rate. In the end, the guy either guesses, or finds out in another way, and this has a sad outcome.

Do not forget that all people are different, and for someone to forgive treason will be a very difficult test, while others will listen and accept you.

Why can not you share this with your friends?

Do not discuss this with your friends. You never know what actions will be taken by them.

"I changed the guy," she confessed to her friends., - it is very bad for me what to do? ". Of course, A. hoped for support. But one of the girlfriends silently left the cafe, the second said that A. has time before dinner to confess her beloved in treason, otherwise she will tell everything herself. In the evening A. returned home alone, things the guy in the apartment was gone. And six months later, one of the girlfriends updated her status in social networks, that she was marrying her ex.

Therefore, if the girl has changed the guy, what to do does not know, psychologists strongly recommend not to write to friends.

How to admit treason

The most effective way for psychologists to call confession in a letter.

• Having identified the problem, formulate it in a letter to your loved one.
• Describe your condition, what you are experiencing.
• Be sure to include in the letter the two main words "forgive me."
• Write to your loved one about how much you love him.
• Do not blame the guy for everything, start with the part where only you are to blame.
• But do not write only about your own fault - this is your common problem.
• Write to him your desire to maintain a relationship.

Read this letter, put it aside andtry to reproduce all this in person, in a calm environment. If you do not get to say out loud about treason or you are afraid of an inadequate reaction, leave this letter and let the man understand and accept everything that he reads.

Men's and women's betrayal, are there any differences?

Opinions on this subject are very different. Someone says that by nature all people are polygamous, someone is certain that this is all due to a lack of education. Of course, we will never know the truth. However, it should be noted that there are couples who, on mutual agreement, have on the side of other partners.

A man really needs self-affirmation, and they find him in bed. Adult men are looking for young girls.

Women find self-assertion in the other. And under the guise of female infidelity, usually hide huge problems. Probably, therefore, many share male and female treason.

Another difference in accepting the fact of treason. If a woman feels a blow to her feelings, the man - by self-esteem. Therefore, most often male treason is forgiven, and the female remains beyond the bounds of understanding men.

Advice to girls

If you feel some kind of discord, somewrong feelings for the other guy, or stop getting the proper attention from your second half - talk to him. The only thing that will protect both sides from betrayals, quarrels, and turmoil is 100% - these are conversations. It is not necessary to sit down in the evening and discuss who is displeased with what. If you can not say - write. The most important thing is to convey the idea, but how - it does not matter at all.

Learn to say "forgive me". This applies to people of any gender. If there was a quarrel, do not finish it. It's better to stop and say "I love you" in time. It is conflicts, cool relations lead to treason.

Advice to the guys

The girl feels remorse, because she changed the guy. What should a man do in such a situation?

Try as calmly as possible to take thisinformation. You have the right to be angry, get upset, feel hurt and feel any other emotion. But it will be better for everyone if you take it as calmly as possible, because nothing can be changed.

If the girl could explain to you the reason of her deed, try to understand if there was a reason on your part. Do not blame yourself completely, but do not shift all the blame to the girl.

Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to the question of how to forgive a loved one's betrayal. But if you love each other, you should try to glue the broken cup together.

If nothing comes out

"I changed the guy, what should I do?"Young girls ask this question daily: older women ask such questions about their husbands, men rarely think of cheating as something shameful, if your relationship is at a deadlock after treason, and even family therapy sessions have not helped, your happiness was just not there?

Of course, to glue happiness after treason is given farnot everyone. However, for so many years of study by psychologists of the issue of adultery, you can definitely say that there are chances, and rather big ones. Therefore, grabbing a bag and parting is a wrong way, although the easiest. If in your heart, in your soul there is at least a drop of love, tenderness and caring for the guy, then try to return feelings and light them with renewed vigor. And it's not so difficult to do this when there comes a realization that it was wrong in your life. Good luck!

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